April 26th, 2024: Project Release Mama,... I was really outside. - EP
- Oct 3, 2025
- 5 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
A Narrative Project by Lawren, The III Introduction
"Mama, ... I was really outside." is a conceptual and autobiographical music project by Lawren, The III. Told in five chapters—five tracks—it documents a spiritual and emotional journey through real experiences, internal battles, relationships, and moments of awakening. The phrase "outside" carries many meanings throughout the project: physical presence, social tension, emotional exposure, and spiritual conflict. Phone calls, both missed and made, run through the project like threads trying to reconnect a soul back to its roots.
This is a story about surviving—not just outside in the world, but inside oneself.
Track-by-Track Reflection
1. Demons Challenge Part II
The project begins where a previous spiritual fight left off: the original “Demons Challenge.” But this isn’t a repeat—it’s the return of a more aware, more composed Lawren. I’m still fighting, still talking to God, still dealing with thoughts of temptation and exhaustion. But now I understand the battle better. The flow is tighter, the focus sharper. At the end, a voicemail kicks in—a missed call. Someone tried to reach me. That missed connection sets the tone: I’m stepping into chaos, possibly too far, too alone.
2. Maighth (outside)
May 8th, 2021. A real story. The night we were outside celebrating, and another group stole our speaker. I was furious. Not just because of the speaker, but because we didn’t fight back. Inside, I wanted to. But my mother’s voice echoed: “Stay out of trouble when you’re outside.” That phrase stayed with me all the way home—and into this track. I'm a peaceful person, but that night, I wanted to break character. That internal clash became the heartbeat of the song. It starts with my mother’s voice—her call, her guidance. The track is about restraint, self-knowledge, and the fire you hide from the world.
On 23.09.2024, the music video for “M8th (outside)” was filmed as part of the CokeSTUDIO Soundcheck competition, where I was honored to be selected as a semifinalist. The video imagines what might have happened if I had chosen to fight back that night — ending up in jail. But today, in 2024, my faith in Jesus Christ has freed me from that burden. In the video, this is symbolized by the Bible removing my "handcuffs." The title, "M8th (outside)," stands for May 8th — my first time outside after the long COVID lockdowns, and also the birthday of two close friends.
3. It Feels Different (featt. Luizella)
Everything started to feel different. Not just around me—but inside me. Something was missing. This track is about that shift, and my need to emotionally reconnect with someone who might be slipping away. With Luizella’s melodic energy, we created a space that’s both intimate and uncertain. It’s me reaching out, not knowing if I’ll be met halfway. I don’t name names—but the longing is real. I’m looking for something that used to feel whole. I'm hoping they can still hear me.
On 03.06.2025, I released a visualizer for “It Feels Different.” Though I’ve long moved past the chapter in which this song was written, I still felt the need to share it — because love, when done the right way, under the right law, and for the right purpose, is something truly beautiful.
4. Ain’t No Way
It’s night. I’m out walking. The mood is heavier, darker. I’m no longer the calm observer—I’m drifting. Saying "no" to the wrong people, the wrong thoughts, becomes the only way to stay alive. But I’m slipping, too. In the final seconds, a gunshot rings out. It doesn’t hit me. It hits someone else. That moment wakes me up. I see the path I’ve been walking and where it could’ve led. The voicemail tone returns—this time, it's my girl trying to reach me. I don’t answer. I’m too far gone, too wrapped in my own silence.
5. Cream (Freestyle)
I’m calling back. Maybe it’s my mom. Maybe it’s her. I don’t know. I just know I need to reconnect. This freestyle is raw, loose, reflective. I ask questions. About money, value, life. About everything I’ve been through. And for the first time, I stop rapping and start praying. Quietly, humbly. It’s not about bars anymore—it’s about making it out. Making it back. After being so far outside.
On 19.07.2025, I released the visualizer for “Cream (Freestyle).” This track represents a raw stream of consciousness — a freestyle rooted in reflection and self-awareness. It’s not just the final track of the EP, but also a moment of emotional closure, tying the narrative together while leaving space for thought and continuation. “Cream (Freestyle)” is honest, vulnerable, and poetic. Through metaphors, layered lyrics, and unfiltered energy, I share a piece of my truth — shaped by real experiences and the lessons they left behind.
"I was really outside" T-Shirt
Description
This sturdy, flattering and relaxed shirt is a streetwear born from my EP “Mama,… I was really outside.”It’s more than fabric — it’s testimony. A reminder that I’ve walked through struggles, and a bridge to everyone who’s been outside too. It’s confession and gratitude, from a soul who can now look back and value where he stands today.
The story in Luke 15:11–32 ties it all together. We’ve wandered, we’ve hurt, we’ve lived outside — but we’ve also found our way back home. If you are that person who had to step into pain and suffering before returning to peace, this piece is for you.
The Project as a Whole
This EP is not just a playlist of tracks—it's a self-contained world, crafted with intention and reflection. As a short-form narrative project, "Mama, ... I was really outside." compresses a complex period of transformation into a tight emotional arc. Each track is a snapshot of where I was mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Together, they form a journal—one where the pages are shaped by phone calls I missed, moments I could’ve lost control, and silences that taught me more than noise ever could.
The phone motif that runs through the EP reflects my internal disconnect. I miss the first call. I ignore the second. By the end, I’m finally ready to dial back in. This isn't just about reaching out to others—it's about trying to reach myself again. Trying to get back to that voice that kept me grounded: my mother’s, my own, God's.
The EP also speaks to a wider theme: the dual meaning of being "outside." For some, it means fun, freedom, release. For me, it meant exposure, pressure, the temptation to lose myself. It was a test. Outside, I saw how close I could come to crossing lines I never thought I’d approach. But it was also where I learned what I still had to hold onto.
Ultimately, this project is a spiritual checkpoint. It captures the tension between the pull of the world and the call of the soul. It reflects the nights that changed me, the people who reached for me, and the decision I had to make: to return, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.
This EP may be short, but it holds entire chapters of my life.
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